at last, i can just be.
AFFIRMING, EMPOWERING THERAPY FOR HIGH-ACHIEVING FOLKS CARRYING TOO MUCH & STRUGGLING to stay true to themselves
DO YOU…
manage your life in an attempt to keep it all under control?
feel directed by an inner critic that decides what you “should” do?
move with a sense of urgency to “fix” any issues that arise?
ignore your limits to feel like you’re doing enough?
feel overwhelmed and frustrated when you don’t listen to what you need?
rush to distract from shame about potential failure or imperfection?
desperately want to slow down but don’t know how to?
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what's in the way is the way
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• what's in the way is the way •
HI, I’M LUCA.
I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based on stolen Lisjan Ohlone land, colonially known as Oakland, CA. I use they/them and he/him pronouns.
I work with adults and older teens (18+) who are stuck in painful cycles of overwhelm, perfectionism, and shame. If this is you, you might feel completely burdened by the unyielding task of managing your life in the “right” way. You learned early on to be 10 steps ahead, anticipating risks and dodging potential challenges. You are incredibly self-reliant and responsible, often at the expense of your own needs. You are exacting in what you do and seem to have it together on paper, yet beneath the surface, you feel dissatisfied, overwhelmed, lonely, and disconnected.
Through a combination of relational psychodynamic therapy, somatic focusing, and Internal Family Systems (IFS), I can help you understand the ways in which over-managing your life disrupts your ability to be present and connected. I can support you with relaxing your inner critic, soothing anxieties you work so hard to avoid, reconnecting with your body, and building mutually loving and supportive relationships.
Drawing from your inner wisdom as someone who has gotten as far as you have the way that you have, my collaborative approach fosters deeper self-understanding, restored intuition, emotion regulation, meaningful connection, and increased access to choice. Knowing yourself in these ways can empower you to move from being in a constricted, overwhelmed state to living the balanced, cohesive, and meaningful life that you want.
OFFERINGS
You might start therapy with something specific you want to focus on, such as a relational or interpersonal issue, work stress, major life change, or identity crisis. You might not know exactly where you want to start but you know that something needs to change on a fundamental level. My approach as an in-depth psychodynamic therapist means that wherever we start, we are likely to uncover your deeper emotions and drives beneath the surface—always with permission, trust, and consent first. Sometimes this means that we return to issues that you thought were long resolved, only to find that there are lingering wounds that continue to emerge in your present life. It can also mean starting with something that appears clear at first glance but contains threads to your personal history that are surprising. This deeper work allows for a more holistic, expansive approach to healing that goes beyond awareness and results in lasting change so that you can live your life in the way that feels most true to who you are.
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INDIVIDUAL THERAPY
I provide therapy for adults and older adolescents (18+) who have internal accelerators that are now running on fumes. Within this context, a variety of other concerns might arise, such as anxiety and depression, unexpected life transitions, interpersonal conflict, grief and loss, and explorations with sexuality and gender identity.
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1:1 RELATIONSHIP THERAPY
1:1 relationship therapy, or individual attachment-based therapy, is for people looking to feel greater calm, confidence, and agency in their relationships. I can help you identify your sensitivities, set appropriate boundaries, engage in healthy conflict, clarify expectations of yourself and others in relationships, and clearly communicate unmet emotional needs.
Please note that this is different than couples therapy, in that I only work with individuals.
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GENDER AFFIRMING THERAPY
Gender affirming therapy is for anyone starting the process of exploring their gender identity, or for people who feel confident in their gender identity but want to further explore how their gender informs and impacts other parts of their lives, such as dating, school, work, friendships, and family relationships. I feel passionate about being a trans provider offering gender affirming care at a time when trans people are maliciously targeted by the federal government and in interpersonal relationships.
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SOMATIC TRAUMA HEALING
I use somatic approaches to help people reconnect with their bodies. When we experience trauma, our inherent ability to connect with our bodily sensations and emotions gets disrupted. Trauma healing is therefore a restoration of who and how we are. Through connecting with your body, I can help you identify triggers, regulate your emotions, reduce overwhelm, and decrease strategies used to avoid or distract from pain.
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EMDR THERAPY
EMDR is a therapy model based on neuroscience that has been shown to resolve the lingering effects of trauma in the brain and body. People who undergo EMDR therapy commonly report that their trauma feels like something that happened to them, as opposed to something that continues to happen within them over and over again. I use a combination of somatic approaches and Internal Family Systems (IFS) when doing EMDR in order to provide comprehensive healing.
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IFS THERAPY
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapy model based on the idea that we are all made up of different parts that help us move through the world. There is room for authenticity, pleasure, and connection while also making space for all the different parts of you to exist—yes, even the ones you have learned to see as frustrating, self-sabotaging, and disruptive! Our full selves are so worth embracing. I can help you integrate multiple truths and find your way back to wholeness.
MY APPROACH
My style is emotionally engaged, thoughtful, and nonjudgmental. In our therapy, I prioritize establishing a sense of trust and safety so that you know I am here to listen and be here with you at your own pace. I honor the complexity of your lived experiences, and hold your story with respect and care.
Informed by my own experiences as a racialized, disabled, queer & trans person, I value the following in my practice:
Authenticity
Curiosity
Humility
Humor (when appropriate)
Capacity for complexity
Collective care / interdependence
Accountability
Collaboration
Anti-oppressive and anti-carceral stance
My commitment to working with multiply marginalized people has offered me the gift of having nearly a decade of experience supporting clients who are queer, trans, BIPOC, mixed race, neurodivergent, chronically ill, disabled, fat, and/or children of immigrants.
IT’S SO WORTH IT ON THE OTHER SIDE
When we are used to feeling so depleted and limited in our lives, we can forget what it’s like to feel free. I can help you:
Identify and accept your emotions, even the ones that feel “negative,” “bad,” or “unhealthy”
Increase self-understanding
Calm anxieties
Deepen connection with your body
Build tools for emotion regulation that work for you and your unique nervous system
Feel more confident setting boundaries
Balance self-reliance with requests for help
Change confusing and/or harmful behavior patterns
Identify areas of your life where you need more structural support (think: daily, sustainable accommodations to take the load off)
Liberate yourself from shame
Reclaim your sense of identity, agency, and power
Practice vulnerability and intimacy in a safe context
Improve the quality of your relationships
Build an empowered, balanced, and aligned sense of who you are and how you want to live your life
“AND IT’S INSIDE MYSELF THAT I MUST CREATE SOMEONE WHO WILL UNDERSTAND.”
Clarice Lispector
